Saturday, April 18, 2009

When home stops being home

It's happened before.
I'm fourth generation Riverside, born and raised.
But I went to Simpson college in Redding almost 10 years ago...wow, I'm old.
The first two years I was there, Riverside was always home.
I just went to school in Redding.
But the third year something happened.
When I would come to Riverside on break, things felt weird.
I missed my Redding friends, Riverside skies looked extra brown, and catching up with friends here wasn't as easy.
Right when Redding started feeling like home I moved back to Riverside...it was weird...it took a while for Riverside to become home again...but it did.
Well, a year and a half ago we moved back to Redding and it's happened again.
Redding is my home.
I love Riverside but it's not home.
My family is here and I miss them, but I miss my family in Redding.
I'm wondering what's going on and what I'm missing. I love my church. I love the blue skies. I love the pace of life. Redding is my home again...weird.
When we would go home last year to visit Riverside I would say I'm going home for vacation. Now I just say I'm going on vacation.
I love seeing friends and family here. Riverside will always have a special place in my heart but Redding is home now.
Anyone else experience this...it's weird.

7 comments:

.escamilla. said...

i'm feeling the same way about so cal and canada.
i call victoria my "home" now, and hope to make it so after school is done. gotsta find me a job and a work permit!

Anonymous said...

Yea, I totally feel ya. The whole moving process to Salinas was weird and it will be again when I move back down to Riverside away from my parents.

Sarah said...

I totally know what you mean Dan..this whole thing's been my life since I was born..my coping tactic?:(my usual pep talk to myself)
embrace the new home to its fullest but give yourself time to grieve the place you left..and understand that that grief may look different everytime. Give yourself a break to miss the old things, but then move on when it's time. No sense in living in your new home wishing things where like the old home, or missing things from the past. The Lord's giving you something new right here and now and it's a good thing.
I'm glad your family is in Redding now..its been such an honor and blessing to get to know you guys:)

Becky said...

Even weirder... I'm in Indiana... so totally NOT home... but neither is Riverside anymore. I'm tired of being homeless. One more year.

Pearcia LaPointe said...

We are happy to have you here in Redding! When will you be back home? :)

Leah said...

Hmm, yep, I know exactly what that feels like. Now imagine having to go to Riverside for a few years but knowing the whole time that it isn't home while you and your family lives with Alyssa's parents; that's how we feel. ;)

Topherspoon said...

Yep. Ditto, Amen. I feel the same way about MoVal and Phoenix. When the church planting journey is hard and I feel like giving up and going home... I remember how much Phoenix feels like home and it's pretty much enough encouragement to keep going.